From: Carl W. Brown (cbrown@xnetinc.com)
Date: Mon Dec 15 2003 - 10:14:50 EST
Euro-English
The EU announces changes to the spellings of common English words...
European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached
to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications,
rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase
plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly,
sivill servants will resieve this news with joy. Also the hard "c" will be
replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typwriters kan
have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Government will
enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to
akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"'s in the languag is
disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by
"z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
trubls or difikultis and evrivon vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze
drem vil finali kum tru.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.5 : Mon Dec 15 2003 - 11:03:38 EST